As life starts getting busier, intentionality increases in importance. 

Did you know the average couple only has 3 minutes of quality conversation per day?! \ud83e\udd2f

Photo By: Jess Bailey

Here’s our advice on how to reclaim time with your partner and some pitfalls to avoid: 

1. Schedule time together 

Before you schedule any other leisure activities, try to schedule in time for your partner. Carve out a weekly time for dates and stick to it. Your partner is not someone who deserves the leftovers of your time, they deserve the best of you. If weekly is too tricky for you, try every 2 weeks or even once a month if your season of life is too challenging.

2. Laugh together

When you intentionally make time for each other, also make space for fun and laughter. Do something you both enjoy or share something funny with your partner to deepen your connection. Try the Dry Bar Comedy app, Conan O’Brien Remotes, or play Throwthrow Burrito. 

3. Learn how to say no to too many commitments

Sometimes, you have to say no to good things to say yes to better things. Say no graciously to things you simply do not have the time for, so you can make time for your partner. Remember that saying no to these things means you’re saying yes to a healthier relationship.

Here are some of our favorite ways to say NO:

• "Thank you for asking but at this time in my life I don't have the capacity but thanks for thinking of me."

• "This sounds really interesting/fun. I wish that I could be a part of it, but I am already committed. I wish you all the best, and look forward to ..."

• "No, I'm not able to." (You don't always need to offer a reason).

• "I'll have to check and get back to you." (Use this if they need some time to think about it).

• "I planned to have a quiet weekend, I'll say no this time."

• "I don't have the capacity for that right now."

• "I can't help you with this but I'd be happy to support you with finding someone who can." 

• "I'm trying to balance my time more at the moment so I need to check my schedule first."
•  

4. Make sure you spend time with each other EVERY DAY

A good rule of thumb is to make sure you communicate with each other at least 10 minutes per day and find a way to be physically close. Going for a walk is a common one that makes a big difference! Physically close can simply be holding hands during your walk, or snuggling during a movie/TV show.

5. Make a list of fun activities to do together 

You are literally living with someone who you get to hang out with and have fun with every day. That’s pretty special if you ask me. Get creative and come up with a list of activities you would both love doing together. You may have no interest in some of the activities your partner loves, however, this is a great chance for you to try something you wouldn’t otherwise choose and to step outside of your comfort zone. Loving your partner sometimes means you do things you don’t necessarily enjoy for the sake of their happiness. This shows that you care and you’re willing to be selfless. 

Take a few minutes to compile your own list of activities you would each like to do, and each week or month you try something on each other’s list.

If you hate thinking and writing (haha) try The Adventure Challenge for some really unique and fun date ideas!! 

MYTHS

1. YOU CAN FREEZE TIME & COME BACK TO IT

If you’ve never heard of the law of atrophy, it’s the theory that things deteriorate or decline when left neglected. It applies to the muscles in our bodies, to buildings, and yes, to our relationships. 

You cannot simply freeze your relationship as it is and expect it to stay the same. If you don’t work at it, it will deteriorate.

2. TIME CAN BE SAVED

You have 24 hours in a day. If you don’t use them today, you can’t save them up for later. They’re gone forever to half an hour of scrolling through Instagram or those couple hours on Netflix. Those things aren’t bad, but it’s all a question of priority. Are you prioritizing your relationship over social media? Are you spending more time with your partner or with Netflix? 

When life gets busy (and does it ever) we think we can freeze time with our partner while we catch up on completing a business venture or wanting to just get through the first year of having a newborn. But guess what? You’ll never get that time back with your partner because life itself doesn’t pause, only your relationship does. You can’t save it and spend it later. Find time for each other NOW in the midst of the craziness. I promise it will make everything better. It will carry over into all other areas of your life. It will only add value to the other areas of your life that you thought you needed to solely focus on.

Trust me, your children/child won't remember that you weren't with them one evening in the month, but your partner will. Take that intentional time to be with each other!

The era of instant messaging has kicked snail mail to the curb. When most people check their mailboxes now, they dread the credit card bills, bank notices, and spam flyers they are going to get. 

It’s prime time to change that.

One of the best ways to show love to your partner (especially if one of their love languages is Words of Affirmation) is to send them cards. I’m not talking about long messages via text or e-mail. I’m talking about physical cards.

Buy a box of greeting cards or a stationery set. If you’re artsy, you can paint your own watercolor card or make a pop-up card for your loved one.

Here are some tutorials to get you started:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EJAgSx3tLM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c4MNvCVotI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFEa8HtQb8A&t=39s

2. UBER EATS SURPRISES

Dinner dates are the staple of every relationship. It’s where good conversation happens over good food, satisfying your minds, hearts, and stomachs.

If you’re unable to see your partner in person during this season, try sending them a food delivery instead! 

Tip: For most delivery services, there’s a free option to leave a note on the container. Make sure to put in a request to write a special message for your loved one! 

3. ONLINE ESCAPE ROOM

An escape room is a great way for you and your partner to use your intellect, challenge your wits, and have some fun! It’s also a great way to have double/triple dates online!

Here are some places for you to check out:

·      Escape Manor

·      Room Escape

·      The Escape Game

4. BOUQUET DELIVERIES

Flowers at the door are a sure way to let someone know that you care, regardless of the occasion.

If flowers are not your partner’s thing, consider edible arrangements like fruit bouquets, chocolate bouquets, or cookie bouquets!

Ottawa Flowers are a great business!

5. THE VENGEANCE VAN

We know how stressful of a time this is and what better way to alleviate stress than to get in the back of a truck or moving van and smash anything from old TVs to glasses. Just the thought of taking a baseball bat or a golf club to a printer is something we could probably do weekly!

If there's a more fun way to care for your mental health we haven't heard of it!

Check them out here: https://vengeancevan.com/

6. ART NIGHT

Grab your art supplies and host a virtual art night! You can either try to paint or sketch a portrait your partner (which could either go really well or end in lots of laughs), search up painting tutorials on YouTube, or fill in colouring books to your heart’s content. The options are limitless, use your creativity! 

7. FUN PHOTOGRAPHY SESSION

Do you ever wish you had more pictures together? Now is the perfect time to get some taken!

Whether you decide to have a home-shoot or a professional one, make sure you’re having fun during the process! It’s about more than just the result, but about connecting in the moment as well.

We specialize in couple photography! Many of our clients tell us, years later, that their portrait created by S+C is their most cherished possession. We would love to give you stunning memories to fill your home with!

Living together during a pandemic means that you never get time away from your partner anymore, especially if you both work remotely. The situation can easily breed conflict and boredom. Don’t let the pandemic bring staleness into your relationship! 

HERE ARE SOME WAYS YOU CAN KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP

FRESH + FUN

1.    PLAN A GETAWAY DAY

A change of scenery can do wonders for your mental wellbeing as well as your relationship with your partner!

Here are some places you can still visit during COVID-19:

PARC OMEGA

Feed deer and enjoy the stunning scenery at Parc Omega. The park boasts 900 hectares of preserved nature and 400 wild animals including deer, wolves, bears, and bison. Non-threatening animals are allowed to roam freely throughout the park, where they can eat carrots from out of your hand to your heart’s delight!

The park currently operates as a 12 km car safari trail, with walking trails that you can still explore (with a mask on).

TAKE A HIKE!

Take your partner out for a nice hike! It’s a great way to get some fresh air and exercise while spending time with your loved ones.

Here's a list of 12 breathtaking in and around the Ottawa area!

2.    SET APART INTENTIONAL DATE TIME

Time blurs together during the pandemic. Days turn into months, and soon an entire year is gone.

It’s easy to get lost in the current of things, but make sure you’re setting apart intentional time to spend with your partner. Just because you see them a lot doesn’t mean you’re spending quality time with them.

Here are some ideas for fun date nights at home:

BUILD A FORT + S'MORES

What better way to have fun than to create a little fortress of your own? 

1. Cozy up & make a fort in your living room (you can even add some twinkly lights on top of your fort for extra pretty-ness)!
2. Get the items you need for s'mores (chocolate, graham crackers, marshmallows) & safe canned methanol to toast your marshmallows! Get a premade kit here.
3. Pick a Disney movie to watch that you loved growing up.
4. Enjoy this fun, cozy, and throwback evening together.

*Don't forget, you can always use our conversation starters here.

*We’d love for you to share your date night with us on social media by tagging @scphotoandvideo

WINE TASTING

Just because the wineries are closed, doesn’t mean the wine tasting has to stop. Order some wine to be delivered to your home or visit your local LCBO and pick out a few choices.

Get your wine glasses out and see if you can describe the range of flavors in your drinks!

Here are more great ideas on fun dates from home!

3.    TRY NEW HOBBIES TOGETHER

Now is the perfect time to pick up a new hobby—together.

Whether that be painting, baking, dancing, or photography, choose a hobby to try and get your partner to pick one as well. This way, you can both try something the other person loves and spend some quality time together.

See a few fun + creative ideas below!

BAKING

Make this more interesting and hilarious by blindfolding your partner, and guiding them throughout the process. Switch roles halfway through so you both get to guide each other.

EAT CHURROS

Pick them up or have them delivered! These sweet treats are a sure-fire way to make your day!

We highly recommend La Catrina Churros, they're the best in the city!

Check them out here!

MAKE IT PLAYFUL

1. Make each other chef headbands (cause that's way cooler than chef hats).
2. Make cinnamon buns while watching The Office (or your favorite TV show).
3. Any time characters in the show said something specific attack the other with whip cream!!

*We're not responsible for any accidents.

THE VENGEANCE VAN

We know how stressful of a time this is and what better way to alleviate stress than to get in the back of a truck or moving van and smash anything from old TVs to glasses. Just the thought of taking a baseball bat or a golf club to a printer is something we could probably do weekly!

If there's a more fun way to care for your mental health we haven't heard of it!

Click here to check them out!

4.    FUN PHOTOGRAPHY SESSION

Do you ever wish you had more pictures together? Now is the perfect time to get some taken!

Whether you decide to have a home-shoot or a professional one, make sure you’re having fun during the process! It’s about more than just the result, but about connecting in the moment as well.

Check out S+C Photography here, who specialize in couple photography experiences!

THE MYERS-BRIGGS PERSONALITY TEST  

Also known as 16 Personalities, this test will help you and your partner find out what drives, inspires, and worries each of you, helping you to better understand each other.

It encompasses strengths and weaknesses, as well as how each type responds in romantic relationships, friendships, parenthood, and professional careers.

The Myers-Briggs Test measures the four areas of:

o  Extraversion vs. Introversion

o  Sensing vs. Intuition

o  Thinking vs. Feeling

o  Judgment vs. Perception

Take the free test here. 

THE ENNEAGRAM TEST

Whereas the Myers-Briggs Test focuses more on conscious action, the Enneagram digs deep into the underlying motivations, core desires, and fears of each of the 9 people types.

Truity describes the Enneagram as “a system of personality typing that describes patterns in how people interpret the world and manage their emotions.”

Take the test for free on Truity or Eclectic Energies.  

LOVE LANGUAGES TEST

Everyone speaks a different love language. It is essential to know which one your partner speaks so you can better communicate with them and show them love in a way they resonate with. 

The 5 love languages are Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Take the free test here. 

ATTACHMENT STYLES TEST

Going back to childhood, attachment styles deal with underlying patterns of how each person interacts and behaves in relationships. The early years of a person’s life plays a significant impact on their attachment style, even as an adult.

Take the free test here.